I was an English major. I like to think I pick up on problems of language. For example, this was in the Stimulation Consent I received in the mail this weekend:

“I voluntarily request that [all the doctors at the clinic] treat my condition which has been explained to be as: ______________________.”

The trick there is that what goes in that blank for me is “unexplained infertility.” So, my condition really hasn’t been explained. I’d like to write in there instead, “No effing clue.”

I know. It’s a consent form. I’m totally reading too much into it.

But when you’re on the brink of shooting yourself up with some very expensive hormone drugs and submitting to some pretty invasive procedures, it’s helpful to have an idea of exactly why you’re in that position. Sure, we’ve talked it over, and we feel confident that this is the right step for us at this time. We get that many, many people with unexplained infertility have gone down this path before us, and our doctor thinks that IVF offers the best chance possible of a viable pregnancy.

None of that has taken away the odd feeling I have, as I read through this massive packet of paperwork, that they totally mailed this stuff to the wrong person.

Well… Whoever she is, it looks like I’ll be taking her place.