We had a helpful WTF phone call with the RE today. He outlined everything, and said it’s not unreasonable to try again, but it’s always going to be a long shot at best. Our embryos seemed pretty good last time – but that’s not saying that there wasn’t a quality problem with the eggs anyway, and with such crap numbers for quantity…

At the end of the day, I think I’ll always be left with this question: How the fuck can I — an otherwise healthy and fit 33-year-old woman with perfectly regular, normal cycles and no endometriosis — wind up as one of the hardest cases to treat? One of the least likely to get pregnant with my own eggs?

So it’s one more holiday season of frustration and disappointment. Actually, it’ll be more frustration and disappointment than ever before. Most likely I’ll be on birth control for a fresh cycle by the time Christmas descends. Ironic that two years ago, I was so excited to be on what I thought was my last month of birth control ever, because then we would get to start trying.

Thank God I won’t be stimming. I’ll be needing a big fucking drink.


Hasa Diga Eebowai.